McKrills tales

some folks just cant handle the fame

2010-02-22T10:13:00.000-08:00

today I was going about my business, totaly inocent pirate stuff. when low and behold our friend
Generalaltair contacts me;

GeneralAltair > hi
bernard mckrill > morning! havent seen you in a while
GeneralAltair > have u deleted that convo
bernard mckrill > no
GeneralAltair > go !@#$%^&*()!@$%* then

if you cannot take the sheer volumes of fame that come with winding up on an immensely famous pirate blog... than you probably shouldn't smack at them

as a little aside. I inflicted absolutely 0 damage against his fail fit megathron

lolz

2010-02-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

The great POS bash!

The call went out over the coms as I woke from a small nap. an unarmed POS left lonely in aechee.. I'm in i thought to myself as i fired up the manticore to spread chaos and destruction. When I got there I maneuvered to a quaint sleepy pos.

The Fun Begins

as we started to work on the shields

what do you mean YOU FORGOT THE STRONTHIUM!!!

All of which brings us to this

my very first tears, and tech support

2010-01-29T22:50:00.000-08:00

bernard mckrill > hi
GeneralAltair > why did u kill me
GeneralAltair > i lost 70 millon
GeneralAltair > pls not again
bernard mckrill > oops
GeneralAltair > thank u for destrying my capsule
bernard mckrill > were pleased to do our part
GeneralAltair > but why did u kill mw
GeneralAltair > me*
bernard mckrill > what other games do you play besides eve?
GeneralAltair > nothing
GeneralAltair > only eve
Golden Helmet > Hello
bernard mckrill > please hold for our customer servise department
Golden Helmet > I'm told you have questions in regards to our services rendered
Golden Helmet > Please be aware that once services are rendered, refunds are impossible
Golden Helmet > All conversations may be recorded for training purposes
Golden Helmet > What is the problem?
GeneralAltair > ?
GeneralAltair > U KILLED ME
GeneralAltair > i didnt even shoot u
Golden Helmet > According to my logs, that statement is indeed accurate. Was there a problem with the service rendered?
GeneralAltair > what service
Golden Helmet > Our premium Loot Reclamation And Redistribution service. We're the best in 10 regions
Golden Helmet > Was our service unsatisfactory?
GeneralAltair > killing me was a service
bernard mckrill > he called me a woman
GeneralAltair > if i come at ur corp will u give my money back
Golden Helmet > I'm sorry, but once service is rendered, refund is impossible
Golden Helmet > The best I can do is offer you a coupon for a free pod trip home the next time you find yourself in Old Man Star
bernard mckrill > PENIS!!

this beauty was collected after we found a lounging megathron in our home system. a few torps and fighter drones and a dramiel later. this fella was sitting comfortably in warp inside his pod....
a few moments later. HE CAME BACK! long story short he woke up in a vat and we got these juicy tears. i might add my very first ones..

venture into parts unkn0.0n

2010-01-16T19:22:00.000-08:00

recently I took off into nul sec, in the hopes of seing carebears in their native habitat.... to no avail there were none anywhere around! but i did get these great pictures but they are all in low sec bear with the crappy small appearance. the pics are pretty good

i'm back

2010-01-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

I am back, now and just in time too. currently we are enjoying huge sucess with Helicitys epic idea

HULKAGEDDON! 2

While i was looking around i found this epic video on spectres blog here it is for your enjoyment

away for a bit.

2009-07-31T07:39:00.000-07:00

The feeling was off from the start. as my rifter fell out of warp and the CBD warehouse came into view, I saw them. To late to flee. To late to hide.
"dock now, or we will open fire" the voice came over the neo-com. The hooker must have talked, I knew I could'nt trust her.
As My rifter slid into the docking platform I could see the official looking officers waiting for me, My dock manager was in a bloody heap to the side. I was quickly taken in, with out any choice or option for escape. I'd fallen for the trap.
The scene replays it's self in my mind as I sit now in a Minmatar prision in some high sec system, far from the comforts of home...............

Station Bound

2009-07-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

Image by crazykinux via Flickr

I'm stuck in station, a broken interface command connection on my rusty old Rifter (internet not good) the half inbred hanger tech lent to me by the docking master truly has no idea. it's been two days of the fool standing there drooling on it, pretending to read the manual. I know he's not, theres no pictures. I've placed and extinguisher next to him, should his head explode.
I talked to the gypsy and the new Vexor is nearly ready to ship. but traffic patterns in Rens are less than optimal(internet again) so everything has been put on hold, also the prices on 1600mm plates are outrageous right now so he's taken to ordering them from a cheaper source. pad after pad is filling up with ideas on how to fit the new Vexor, heres a couple of thoughts

[Vexor, New Setup 1]
F84 Local Damage System
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
Small Armor Repairer II
Small Armor Repairer II

Y-S8 Hydrocarbon I Afterburners
J5b Phased Prototype Warp Scrambler I
X5 Prototype I Engine Enervator

Light Neutron Blaster I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S
Light Neutron Blaster I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S
Light Neutron Blaster I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S
Light Neutron Blaster I, Caldari Navy Antimatter Charge S
Medium Nosferatu I

[empty rig slot]
[empty rig slot]
[empty rig slot]

Hobgoblin I x3
Hobgoblin I x2
Hammerhead I x2
Warrior I x2
Hammerhead I x3
Warrior I x3

nevermind the drones, when i'm all done it will be a full flight of five of each type. this one I figure to be a good all around fighter, and day to day operator.

[Vexor, New Setup 2]
1600mm Reinforced Rolled Tungsten Plates I
F84 Local Damage System
Energized Adaptive Nano Membrane I
Energized Reactive Membrane II

'Langour' Drive Disruptor I
J5b Phased Prototype Warp Scrambler I
Omnidirectional Tracking Link I

Modal Light Neutron Particle Accelerator I, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge S
Modal Light Neutron Particle Accelerator I, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge S
Modal Light Neutron Particle Accelerator I, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge S
Modal Light Neutron Particle Accelerator I, Dread Guristas Antimatter Charge S
Drone Link Augmentor I

[empty rig slot]
[empty rig slot]
[empty rig slot]

Hammerhead I x3
Hammerhead I x2
Hobgoblin I x5
Warrior I x2

this one would be more of a drone warfare setup, I think though i'll go with caldari animater, it's easier to find. off i go to explain to the tech how to flip the page, i hate po dunk systems.

money making

2009-07-23T21:58:00.001-07:00

Image by John Flinchbaugh via Flickr

So, i've found that life based soley on pirating and yarrage is well, one of immence poverty for me. so i've enlisted the help of my on call gypsy hauler to become a gypsy trader. the opperation is starting out small. just to get my feet wet. He learns quick, the money has started rolling in. with the help of a guide put together by prisen. It was published in the eve tribune, over several issues which I had to trash dive to get. as I had tossed them out dismising them in all my yarr i'm a pirate glory. In a few more days the gypsy should have enough skill to shave down alot of the costs of running the trade buisness. but still i wonder, who to target? missioners? Belt ratters? *shudders* miners?
The thought both chills and excites me to the core, If the blind man and I can get the care bears into doing what they do in the same places I do what I do.. kill mail city.

the hooker and the gypsie part II

2009-07-22T05:57:00.000-07:00

Later that night as he sat in the gypsy rose, with the blind hauler, who was deeply immersed in his trading type care bear activity's the neo-com flashed
"I'm ready" came the message across the screen, followed by the location in the station. he tapped the hauler to let him know to keep the engines warm, and headed out. As he walked through the halls of the Brutor tribe treasury in Rens he was sure to keep the hood up on his cheap cloak lest he be caught. The Minmatar are quite unpleasent to outlaws in their station.

After about what seemed like hours of ducking patrols and doubling back to shake any tails he arrived at a plain steel bulk head with a single red light above it, it was on she was indeed ready. Slowly sliding the door open, he slipped in quietly. With a flick of his wrist he loosed the gas spray from his belt and slowly proceded to the next room, the woman was indeed keeping the man distracted rather well to say the least, for he hardly noticed the gas gun coming over his shoulder. With a squeeze of his finger they both were out soundly.

A small twinge of dismay came over him as he thought about what would happen to the poor slob, but it quickly passed when he remembered the faction pilot had been foolish enough to let himself get caught, literaly with his pants down. He chuckled as he flipped the com unit open.
"got him" he said. A distinctly Ammaarian voice on the other end sounded pleased. He watched as the aggreed sum was deposited into his personal wallet, at which he gathered the belongings of the faction pilot in a sack, left a scrit on the end table for the passed out hooker, and got out before transmitting the coordinates to the Ammarian. He could only imagine the joy that his employer would get if he captured a known outlaw and a faction dog in one scoop. He was'nt going to let that happen.

A short time later he was back at the hanger with the blind gypsy hauler still imersed in his trades,
"time to go" he hollered as he headed for the smugglers compartment, the engines on the Badger fired back up and within moments they were on their way out of Rens and back home. This trip he had somthing better to do than stare at the walls of the darkened smugglers compartment.

As he sacked the Faction pilots pockets a look of sheer joy crossed his face. In addition to the shiny Faction wings to hang on his wall with the rest of his collection, the fool was stupid enough to bring his newly aquired pilots licence extention to the house of ill repute with him. Quickly he flipped open his com and started to find a buyer.

the hooker and the gypsy part I

2009-07-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

It was cold in the darkened smugglers cavity on board the Gypsy rose, "no way for a renowned pirate to travel" he thought to himself as the hours ticked by.
"were almost there stay low and I'll open the hatches when we are in the station, oh and I sent word ahead to her like you asked." the tinny voice of the blind hauler he employed came over the comm. how the man ever managed to fly he'd never know.
As the ramp came down on the Badger II he could see her standing there, nothing on her face even remotely gave him the idea that she was happy to see him. He'd picked a great day to quit smoking.
"You could have sent word" the woman remarked. If he cared either way on the issue he surely did not show.
"What have you got for me" he remarked rather distractedly admiring the fine form of the woman. She was, or would appear to be out of place for her work. medium height a little heavier than most. she was however the best at what she did.
"Two lined up for tonight, with heavy wallets and shiny faction wings on their crumpled uniforms" the woman remarked with a smile.
"Good, go and get the marks. I'll hear from you when you're ready" he watched as she turned with a scowl and walked from the hangar bay, leaving him once again with the blind gypsie hauler................

the bounty of Gulmorogod

2009-07-12T02:40:00.000-07:00

The neo-coms have been busy the last couple of days. and the wreckage is adding up two tech II ships here also we were able with the help of our master social engineers to get a hurricane and a typhoon. new pilots are fun. Of course there are many out there that would say the same thing of me, given my seven rifter losses in a row. I havent had any problems with it since lily helped me and my hanger manager re-calibrate the orbital position systems to a range that is'nt suicide.

sometimes you gotta take the bait

2009-07-06T04:28:00.000-07:00

Today when the pythons got going we set up, and I got to participate in my first gate camp. Before we headed out I caught up with lovely lily a fellow python and she helped me get my new shiny Drake in order for the op. as I climbed up the ramp into my drake for the first time my hands shook thinking about bringing this beast into the system. The manual said it was slow for a warship but nothing prepared me for the blistering speed that is 168 m/s. I'm fairly sure my Badger Mark II is faster than that. After getting all the systems synced and ready I requested un-dock permission and was on my way. we waited at the gate for quite a while but the carbears must have not gotten the memo. It was decided a cruiser roam would be more action filled. My nerves calmed as I steped off the Drake, Aura had prewarmed my favorite cruiser for me and before too long I was out in the blackness in Spam n Jam my ewar Blackbird. we did'nt haave to roam far, "rupture on scan" came the voice over the comms. He was quickly scaned down to a belt and cries of bait went up. our CEO decided we had the firepower to down him before his fleet showed up. we did he melted quckly under the fire of the vexor and wolf, unable to target as spam n jam found her mark. Shortly before his hull crumbled in popped a punisher an locked down spectres vexor, it took seven of them to take that vexor out, long enough for the rest of us to get to safety. the order came in, we would have our revenge. the Armageddons and the Drake had stayed in the belt, apparently shocked that they had killed a vexor, this gave us enough time to get the real guns. out came the battleships and we made quick work of the whole lot.

rifters

2009-07-05T07:33:00.000-07:00

Firstly happy fourth to all my fellow Americans out there. I'm starting to be less attached to the Rifters I've been flying. I've fine tuned my setup but they still die so quick. heres the fit that I like to use
highs
3 x 150 mm carbine repeating cannon I
1 x e5 prototype energy vampire

mids
1 cold-gas I arc jet thrusters
1 j5b scrambler
1 x5 web

lows
1 small armor rep II
1 200 mm rolled tungsten
1 f85 damage control

a pretty generic fitting, and cheap enough that I can lose a bunch before it starts to hurt

waiting on drake

2009-07-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

The cargo door opened on the Badger Mark II exposing the Delisiousness that is my new drake. safe and sound in my hanger in Gul. The wrapping still in place and crates of parts surrounding her, I cant wait to sit in the custom midget hide Captians chair I ordered direct from jita.

the pitfalls of mean drone boats

2009-06-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Today I had a novel thought, I'll up my solo kills. Sounds easy enough right, or so I thought. I did my usual roll out of bed, smoke and a coffee I flipped on the master power switch in Mosquito and she came to life. I was greeted by Aura with the usual "Fire alert on the bridge" warning I silenced the alarm and pulled up the local sub light channel to see who was out there. There was'nt much. So still in my pj's I set my coffee in the cheap plastic cup holder that was so prized, after getting the undock clearances I went out to have a look around. The scanner beeped, nearly spilling my coffee I saw an arbitrator, in a belt of all places!. Juicy I thought as i aligned to the belt and set down my now gone coffee at the same time. When I landed I quickly locked him down and fliped on my scrambler and webifier, and opend the taps on my auto cannons to let him have it. There was no responce for a second or two. What could he be doing? afk? easy kill I thought. Just then through my view port I saw them swing open. Drones! how could I have been so stupid? I mashed my afterburner into life, and targeted my first drone a warrior II. Ok I thought, I'll just burn around him taking his drones out than get back to the buisness at hand of melting his ship. How wrong i was, The drones burned quickly through my shields and a quarter of the way through my armor before I switched on the repairer and my damage control "The capacitor is empty" auras always calm voice rang from the control panel. Dammit I'd forgotten my nos! as the fire sprung up from my prized rifter Mosquito I set the nav computer in my pod to the nearest planet and waited for the violent ejection. The hull folded like it was made of paper and my pod lurched into warp off to the planet, I'm gonna miss that cup holder.

Fitting right in

2009-06-23T04:49:00.000-07:00

Image by crazykinux via Flickr

Stumbling out of bed this morning I reached for my pack of smokes and headed for the coffee machine as I always do. I'm finding that the pirate lifestyle enhances my late riser status a lot. The day ticked by faster than I realized and i was still in my pajamas. checking out the sub light stations from the cockpit of Mosquito my trusty Rifter. Everyone was talking about Cyno jumping the last of the corp things from the old home to the new one. after checking the prerequisites I already knew most of it so I snatched up the book and dug in. Within a few hours In a backwater system at the halfway point watching the silhouette of Golden Helmets Archon jump in and jump out of the quiet system. wishing I had captured a picture of it. after the Cyno tasks I made the sixteen jumps back to the new home in my pod and imediatly got in on some more actioin when i got back. a friggate roam! the perfect chance to test Mosquito in combat some more. As the systems came online I punched in the Routes and checked my payload and status of all my weapons. After clearance came from flight control, I punched the warp to amamake to join in with the fleet. we had linked up with the
hellcats. I got in on some good kills, a punisherand a cormorant . there were two rifters that we got too but I never even saw those untill the gang told me about them later. it was a great time and had a ton of fun with the hellcats

the big moving day

2009-06-19T04:18:00.000-07:00

After crawling freom my bunk half dead, or feeling that way. I wiped the drool off my face and tossed the scan probe users guide to the floor the first stop was smokes and a cup of cheap joe. On my way to the door the blinking from my prized retro message machine was blinking. This thing is great, it records the message on a thin magnetic ribbon and then you can play it back later, which I did. When I returned no longer deficient in caffine and nicotene I mushed the button on the message machine and out came the familiar tinny voice. It was our ceo. I half listened half checked the sub light local channel,it was really quiet today, wait. Moving?! After lookig around my hangers and talking further with the ceo I decided to leave everything there and start a second base of operations in the new station. So off I went into wasp my trusty rifter, rusty and beaten plotted the course. Long either way, so I hit the button for shortest route and contacted dock control. Within moments I was in the cold of space with a long trip ahead of me that would take me primarily through high security space. Confident that wasp would be out of range before the large guns of the security forces coud pin me down I switched on the warp drive and was on my way.the entire trip was reletivly safe with the exception of some fast locking amar guards, which took me half way through my armor platin with there first volley, by that time though I was into the warp bubble and on my way.I arived about an hour later, and am now faced with setting up a second base of operations.

quiet, real quiet

2009-06-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

It' been quiet in a busy kind of way latley lots of unfriendlys in powerfull ships. Leaving me with lots of time in station. I haven't had any kills yet this week and very little to do in my hanger. Rifling through some papers on my desk I found the users guide for my probe launcher. Alright off to fame and glory and riches beyond belief. Systems full of lightly armored badgers full of the latest gear and rare ores. Not so much, nothing but useless drone sites not even worth exploring, I did however have some sucess tracking ships, found them but they were to powerfull or hugging a station. Disapointed I returned to the station.

yarr

2009-06-12T12:15:00.000-07:00

It's been an amazingly good week. It started slow and a bit uncertian, by moving the whole lot of my gear into my new home system,a lot of trips in my badger mark II. The bottles of antacid are still scattered about on the bridge, but I pulled it off. Absolutly no excitment. After a restfull night I set out to start my career as a full on pirate.I roamed about a bit looking for easy targets. I finaly got one! My first kill, a rifter hanging out in a belt all by himself blinked onto my scanners, after narrowing him down to a belt I grinned as I mashed the warp button into the console "I got you now" I landed about 10k from him, not incredably gracefull. Oh well, I kicked on the afterburner and waited for the chirp from the targeting computer while I charged the webbifier. Finaly a lock the webifier kicked in, as the blasters on my trusty incursus let loose. And I got a great veiw on my displays of my juicy first target warping away. As I looked over the consol cursing the cut rate engineer that I had hired, vowing to buy him a ship and pod him, I noticed one button on the console not flashing. I had forgotten to switch on my warp scambler. Shortly afterwards I found the same rifter doing the same thing he was'nt as lucky this time

good bye high-sec, hello blogging

2009-06-09T07:32:00.000-07:00

this is the first eve blog that I've written. I was inspired by a pirate that I met along my travels, Spectre3353. I was talking to Spectre for a while the other day and the advise that he gave me led to my first 1v1 kill. which was a real rush, so I decided to move out of the carebear infested hole that is high sec for a different place free of the opressive rule of Concord. as i pulled my last ship out of the station I glanced at my screens. sixty plus pilots in this system, not a one knows what is coming. not a one knows that Bernard McKrill has thrown up the skull and cross bones and nothing will ever be the same. The control board beeped quickly to inform me that my incursis lancer was ready to warp, there was no feelings of regret as my finger mashed the warp button. Onward to the start of a new life and profession.